The Smartness

An Open Letter to Jim Leyland

2009-10-05T11:24:00.000-07:00

Dear Jim:

My wife, her brother, his wife, and I attended the Tigers' game against the White Sox on October 3rd. It was the only game we were able to attend this season. We were excited, of course, to be there while our team was fighting for the division title, although we were extremely disappointed that you guys had not been able to wrap the pennant race up earlier in the week. Regardless, we paid our money, we sat through the cold rain, we paid obscene amounts of money for hot dogs and drinks. We did our part. Could you please explain to me why you guys did not do your part? Why would you start Fiagaro with the division title on the line, and why, when he fell apart immediately, did you continue to trot mediocre reliever after mediocre reliever out there? Ni looked good; why not leave him in for a while? Why not go to Miner or Bonine? But the pitching was not the only disappointment. Not at all. I understand that, as a manager, you cannot make your guys hit the ball. But, as a manager, you could bench guys whose bats have gone cold. Why have you continued to play Inge even though his batting average is abyssmal? You benched Maggs long before his average dipped to .230; what makes Inge so special? Why would you pinch hit for Guillen in the 9th (and use Ryan at that - don't get me wrong, I love Ryan, but he's no good as a pinch hitter) and not for Inge or Laird? Had you just given up at that point? I know that you feel as though you need Inge defensively, but you have three other guys on the roster who have started at 3rd base professionally - Cabrera, Guillen, and Huff, and Ryan and Kelly have both shown an aptitude to fill in there. In the future, when Inge struggles (as he is wont to do) please bench him.

I know that you cannot win every game, but you should be able to make every game competitive, especially when you are playing against a time that you have owned all season, and at home at that. I am astounded that you allowed your solid lead in the Central to slip away. But mostly, I just feel cheated that we spent so much time, energy, and money to come to see your boys play, but they didn't show up. I truly hope that you guys can win in Minnesota on Tuesday, but I am very angry that it came to this. You have truly let us down.

Looking forward to 2010,
Jonathan Shelley
Grand Rapids, MI

Reflections on the last four years

2009-10-02T11:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my four year wedding anniversary, which is a significant milestone for me, since someone was actually willing to tolerate me for that long. Nice. But I started taking stock of the last four years, and I was surprised at some of the things I found. First, and most depressing, I've been working at my current job longer than I've been married. This is depressing since this job was just a temporary stop on the way to what I really wanted to do, yet I have been stuck in this cubicle longer than I've been married. In that same vein, I was just (re)starting my seminary education four years ago. I finished that, but have gotten absolutely nowhere with it. Blah. On the other hand, I have taken two vacations - real vacations - with my wife: Virginia Beach and a Caribbean cruise. Those were firsts. I've only moved twice - once due to a seedy element in the neighborhood that forced us out of our very nice townhouse, and once because we (foolishly) bought a house. A house with lots of snakes! I've published one book, which has sold approximately zero copies, given one scholarly presentation at a national convention, written a couple of journal articles that were not published, and adopted the cutest, tiniest cat ever. I've also tried (and failed, to various degrees) to learn German, Italian, Latin, and Hebrew. Oh, and I started a blog.

Four years doesn't seem like a long time in the grand scheme of things, but it is amazing to note how much has changed in my personal life (and the things that haven't changed) and in the world around me. We elected a black president and gave serious consideration to a female candidate, the government got into the automotive industry, Matt got a girlfriend, U2 has become about as relevant as The Rolling Stones, Jon and Melodee made it to ITALIA with residency papers, the Lions set an NFL record (you know which one) and I actually started to care about baseball (that makes me a real American). What a roller coaster!

"Racism" in Pennsylvania

2009-07-10T05:21:00.000-07:00

Life is good in America. Too good, perhaps, when a nation is scandalized because a private club in Pennsylvania has decided to void a contract with a summer camp. The Valley Club in PA had an agreement to allow 60+ kids from a nearby summer camp use their pool on Mondays throughout the summer. However, the Club rescinded the agreement after the first visit due to complaints from club members. Apparantly, a couple of the camp children - who are predominantly black or hispanic - heard such racial slurs as "black kids." Oh, wait, that's the only "racial slur" being reported. (Side note - the article I read on this referred to "black" as a slur, yet used it several times to refer to various leaders in the black community who were expressing outrage.) Still, most of the club members looked disapprovingly at the camp children and wouldn't let their kids play with the camp kids. This is racism? Certainly there is bigotry at work, but it is about social class, not race. The club members - remember this is a private club in a posh suburb - are upset that their club is being overrun by poor kids from a summer camp. If they wanted that kind of socio-economic intermingling, they would just go to a public pool and save the membership dues. But they paid their money to keep their kids separate from poor kids who can't even afford designer swimsuits. This isn't racism. It's just another example of the haves wanting to get some distance from the have-nots. As a lifelong have-not, I know of what I speak. I've been asked to leave plenty of places that were too "rich" for me, and even the places that didn't toss me out certainly knew how to make me feel unwelcome. But this isn't racism. It wouldn't have mattered one whit to the folks at Valley Club if those camp kids had been white. They were still poor, and that's why they didn't belong.

John Calvin at Baker Book House

2009-07-09T11:19:00.000-07:00

At the risk of alienating all of my Reformed friends out there, I think I'm a little John Calvin'ed out. Yes, he is an important figure in Western history, and yes, tomorrow is his 500th b-day, and yes, I am Calvinist in my theology. But Tuesday evening's symposium on John Calvin at Baker Book House really put this whole 500th b-day fever into perspective. I went, and now I want my 90 minutes back. It was worse than pointless. It was an attempt to fill a space that had been specifically created for having a space to fill. The first topic was on dispelling the myths about John Calvin. Yawn. Moving on. Richard Muller was supposed to speak on whether Calvin was a Calvinist, which I find intriguing, although I already have my mind made up on that, but he had to back out due to a family emergency. Finally, there was an attempt at trendiness, trying to draw a critique of emergent "theology" out of Calvin's thoughts, but this is an exercise in futility. Calvin wouldn't have even wasted his time, and it was clear that the presenter on this topic knew this but was still faced with the task of filling his time with something. Perhaps my hopes were just too high, but I expected more. I do not consider myself a Calvin scholar by any stretch of the imagination - quite the opposite, which is why I went. I guess I felt cheated since I didn't really learn anything new. Oh well. Better luck next time.

LOGOS software and the dumbing down of the Church

2009-07-07T08:02:00.000-07:00

I was asked to do a review of the LOGOS software system after participating in a demo session for seminary students. As is the case with any product, there are a lot of strengths and a few weaknesses. Overall, I think it is a nifty system, albeit incredibly dated. Let's face it, publishers aren't going to release their latest and greatest titles on LOGOS. Plus, there is just something about the feel of paper between your fingers that just makes you feel scholarly. My bottom line on LOGOS as a system: great concept, but I think I can find all of the info either online in public domain or in books already in my office.

Despite my lukewarm review of LOGOS as a product, I do have a major beef with the marketing campaign behind the demo session I participated in. Apparently the makers of LOGOS think that simply having the tools to do extensive biblical scholarship is the same as being trained how to use those tools appropriately. Simply looking up the Greek etymology in Strong's Concordance is not really the same as understanding the significance of terms such as "imperative", "genative", "subjective" and so on and so forth. These terms are critically important in doing language studies (and the ability to do language studies quickly and efficiently is one of the big selling points of LOGOS), and it takes years of study to truly understand the nuances of a language. I know this because I have failed so spectacularly in the past. My beef, then, is LOGOS passing off their product as a replacement for a seminary education (a line they actually use in the promo I viewed). LOGOS may give you the tools, but it doesn't give you the knowledge to use them appropriately or with discernment.

Harry Potter and the Deus ex Machina

2009-06-26T07:16:00.000-07:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah... Harry Potter's been out and complete for years and everyone and his brother has already reviewed it, I know. Still, I spent a lot of time reading these books to my wife, so I've earned the right to give my two cents. In a word: disappointed. Granted, nothing could possibly live up to the hype surrounding the Potter series, but I was hoping for something that at least resembled good, creative fiction. Not even close. Everything was a cliche or a plot device. I would say that I saw the ending coming, but JK likes to cheat her readers by changing the rules, witholding key information, or (her favorite) introducing some previously-unheard-of means of bringing about the desired result. I will give JK credit for creating a world with a rich history - her detailed understanding of the world in her head reminded me of the best of Frank Hurbert and JRR Tolkein. Unfortunately, she doesn't have the talent to share that world like these legends did. What surprises me the most, though, is the critical acclaim JK garnered for her work. I can understand how the vast majority of people didn't know that this was hackneyed. After all, unless you read a lot (and let's face it, the average American is not much of a reader) you don't know that all of this has already been done before. But critics should know better. And that, for me, was the biggest disappointment of all: the underserved critical praise. The books are tired, clumsy, bloated, and boring. There is no character development and JK fails to deliver on the implied promises of the plots she develops (or, more accurately, failed to develop). Overall, reading these books was a waste of my time.

The New Politics of Fear

2009-02-09T11:54:00.000-08:00

From the AP today:
“Making his case in the most dire terms, President Barack Obama said that if Congress does not quickly pass an economic stimulus package, the nation will slip into a crisis so deep that "we may be unable to reverse" it.”
Are we really on the brink of an irreversible cataclysmic economic collapse? I think not. Rather, Obama seems to have run head on into the same problem Jimmy Carter faced when he took the reins in 1977. He’s an outsider, and he ran on a platform of being an outsider. He stepped on toes and made enemies during his campaign. Now he doesn’t have the political clout to do what he wants to do. So Obama has very quickly turned to fear mongering to try to force his agenda through Congress. Democrats have long decried the “politics of fear” of the Republicans and the terrorist threats. Are we really surprised that they would hypocritically turn to the same tactics to justify expanded government and bloated spending? Not really, or at least we shouldn’t be. Democrats invented the “politics of fear.” Their only real gripe with the Bush administration is that W was able to use their technique effectively against them.

Thanks, Jenny

2009-01-10T16:08:00.000-08:00

Michigan is in dire economic straits. But never fear - Jennifer Granholm has a plan! On Friday, another part of that plan was revealed when Jenny signed into law a new regulation barring Michigan wineries from sending wines directly to customers. Michigan has a thriving boutique winery business, and my wife and I are great fans of the varietals available in the Traverse Bay area. Now, thanks to Jenny, we are either limited to the few selections at local stores or are forced to drive to Traverse City when we need to replenish our wine cabinet. The logic behind this regulation is to make it more fair for out-of-state wineries to compete (interstate commerce laws restict shipping alcohol across state lines). As the governor of the state with the worst economy in the nation, it would seem that Jenny would take measures to expand opportunities for Michigan businesses, not hamper them in order to make life easier on out-of-state competitors. Way to go, Jenny.

I want my money back

2009-01-07T11:38:00.001-08:00

Maybe it's just me, but I feel like society has been lying to me my whole life. Weren't we told that we could be whatever we wanted to be when we grew up? Weren't we told that if we worked hard and put our minds to it, we could accomplish anything? I can remember being optimistic and having dreams. But somewhere along the way, those dreams got crushed and my optimism has turned to jaded cynicism. I should have nevered dreamed in the first place. As it turns out, I have very little control over what I get to do with my life. I didn't choose my career - I don't even have a career. I took the best job that was available, and I've been stuck there ever since. I busted my butt in my MA program, hoping to go on to do PhD work and perhaps get a nice tenure track professorship, but as it turns out raw talent, hard work, and good grades don't amount for much in the academic world. Perhaps it's just me, but too many people of my generation seem to be feeling the same way. We worked hard and played by the rules. And what did it get us? We live in constant fear of losing jobs that we don't even really like. Why did I dump all that time, energy, and money into my degree if it doesn't mean squat, even to the people who gave me the degree? I wish educations came with a money back guarantee.

Companies I am Loving

2008-08-04T09:24:00.000-07:00

Since I gave a list of companies that I am very dissatisfied with, I thought I'd share the names of a few businesses that have done an outstanding job lately. If you happen to need any of the following services and are in the Grand Rapids area, you should consider using them.

The Tile Guy, LLC - We wanted granite countertops in the new place, but due to weight and price issues, we went with granite tile. Greg did the install for us and it looks fantastic. It is not possible for us to be happier with the work Greg did from start to finish. We would use him again for any tile needs.

Complete Auto Repair - Honest mechanics?? Yes, it's true. I thought I had a problem with the starter on my car, and these guys did a free diagnostic. When they couldn't find anything wrong, they just handed me the keys and sent me on my way. They didn't try to snowball me and make up a problem or sell me unneeded services. Just straight-forward honesty and customer service.

Mr Rooter - Ah, the joys of home ownership. We have a tree growing over the main drain pipe for the house, which means roots. Lots and lots of roots. Well, the time came when we needed a pro to fix the problem. Mr Rooter sent out Wes, and he did a fantastic job. Considerate, professional, clean, and he took the time to explain the issue and gave us options. No high pressure, no excuses, no return trips, or any of the other nightmares generally associated with plumbers. Just fast service.

A word to Michigan voters

2008-07-11T05:40:00.000-07:00

Now that the presidental race is well underway, I'd like to remind my fellow Michiganders of an important point that seems to have slipped through the cracks. This last primary, Michigan decided to move up our vote so our voice would matter a little more in the nomination process. Both parties punished us for this presumptive move because of long-standing agreements to give preference to New Hampshire and Iowa (what, exactly, these two states did to warrant special treatment, I'll never know). The Republicans cut our delegate count in half, and the Democrats refused to recognize any of our delegates. Even thought the Dems negated our vote, Hillary and some others still campaigned in Michigan. They thought our voice mattered even if we couldn't help them get nominated. Barack Obama, on the other hand, sided with the party and took his name off the ballot. Barak decided that our voice didn't matter. Now that he has secured the nomination he wants our support. I don't see that he deserves it. He has already demonstrated that we only matter insofar as we can help him acheive his goals. I don't think that bodes well for our future if he is elected president. If we didn't matter to him in January, why do we think we will matter to him in the future? In my opinion, Barack forfeited any support from Michigan when he refused to support us in our bid for electoral equality.

Businesses I will never use again - part 1

2008-07-08T05:55:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the Better Business Bureau just can't help, and some of the Internet sites available to disgruntled consumers are of dubious legality, so in an attempt to vent publicly about some of the worst possible experiences and perhaps spare others the frustration we have experienced, here's a list of businesses we will never use again. Stay tuned for additions.

Byron Bank - I know buying a house is a long, difficult process, but it is much, MUCH worse if your bank is as thoroughly incompetent as the mortgage team at Byron Bank turned out to be. Frankly, I shouldn't have to explain things like the difference between homestead and non-homestead and how to read a credit report to mortgage processors, and I don't think it's too much to ask for the underwriter to actually read the purchase agreement before preparing the closing docs. But from start to finish, if it could be screwed up, it was - closing costs, documents, prorations. What a nightmare.

Richard Bareke (dentist) - again, never a pleasant experience, but Bareke's team provided elective services without prior consent, overbilled the insurance company, and then demanded a hefty payment from us without ever supplying a detailed bill.

AceHardwareOutlet.com - we encountered this company through Amazon. We love Amazon, but AceHardwareOutlet committed Internet fraud - the old bait and switch - and left us in a lurch.

Trico Animal Damage Control - I thought it was a simple request. We have snakes in our yard and I want them removed. I hired Trico to take care of it. But when we found and cornered a snake, it turned out to be an inconvenient time for Trico. Apparently, they only trap snakes on sunny days. Even worse, they insisted that we couldn't possibly have cornered a snake because it was cool and rainy. I'm pretty sure we know what a snake looks like. So not only did they refuse to do the job we hired them for, they also insulted us along the way. Best $65 I ever spent!

Hole-a! My Llama's name is Jon

2008-07-07T10:22:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my first foray into blogging. First, let me say that if you don't get the joke for the tag "The Smartness," please understand that it is a joke and not (necessarily) a statment about my obvious mental prowess. My hope is to make a site that is worth visiting - entertaining, thought-provoking, aromatic. Enjoy your visit and I hope to see you back here soon.